Looking for material to write this article, I found many web pages that explain to recruiters how to tell a candidate that he or she has not been chosen for a job position. From “what to say” to “how to write a rejection email.” Giving the right feedback to a candidate and spread best practices is very important.

Much less information, on the other hand, is found on the opposite side, meaning: I applied and they did not choose me. So what now? First of all: you are not a loser. And of course the title of this article is just ironic. It could have been titled: “the story of how I was not chosen and how I learned a lot about myself from that”; but that would have been banal.

I just received a “no.” I applied internally for a position left vacant by a colleague and this application was not successful. When the position was opened I hesitated. I knew I had some gaps with respect to the job description (characteristics that actually turned out to be key to passing the selection). I also did not get active in the application right away because basically I am not a very entrepreneurial person. My Business Partner’s encouragement was the small but essential push out the door. A simple: why don’t you try? Followed by some reflection by myself in the evening, alone at home, free to think without filters.

After fruitful dialogues with the fridge and the rosemary plant, I made my decision and applied. I updated my cv and prepared for the interview. After almost 5 years I had not had an interview. Just at this stage a great tool we have at our disposal came in very handy: Strenghtscope. I did it over a year before, but the results of Strenghtscope are always relevant because they relate to our intrinsic characteristics. This is why for my preparation for the interview, I read again the results by analyzing my strengths as well as the energy drainers. And reflecting on how each of them could match with the job position.

I didn’t feel like I was preparing for an exam: it was rather a kind of walk through my personality. Useful to open my eyes a bit, to become aware of aspects of myself that I might be ignorant till now. An example? I have always thought of myself as a very empathetic person and yet empathy is not part of my strengths but is listed among energy drainers. I have wondered why this is so. I thought about many situations in which I believe I demonstrated empathy and realized that these moments were very tiring for me, as if getting involved with other people was a hard job. So I understood myself better and why some decisions or choices were made.

Then the moment of the interview came, first with the recruiter and then with the hiring manager. In both cases the experience deepen my professionalism, made me see myself from a different perspective. That was a challenge! And finally, the response. It is not you, Viola, the chosen person. A scene from the beautiful movie, Young Frankenstein was immediately come to my eyes: when the main character believes he has failed on his experiment. Really it is important to face failures with “peacefulness, dignity and grace” because after all they should not stop us. Did I fail? Well, yes, I did not achieve the goal I set for myself and that can only be a disappointment. However, never be ashamed of trying and above all, never underestimate that the effort put into this application can turn into something useful for your growth.

I had the opportunity to speak again with the hiring manager to receive her feedback regarding the result of the application. It was a moment of discussion that allowed me to highlight some aspects of my work and me as a person. I realized the power of some aspects of my character and also some areas to improve. I reassessed my strengths and weaknesses by receiving feedback of people’s perception of me and the characteristics that make me unique. In short, a honest analysis that will be crucial in guiding me in my personal and professional development.

Next? … learning! What better can I do than to take advantage of this analysis to take the right direction in my personal development? With the feedback I receive, I can choose precisely which hard and soft skills to enrich and develop. As I am writing this article I am also exploring our My Learning World portal, targeting specific development goals.

Would you like to try?

Strenghtscope

My Learning World

Thanks to the four women involved in this experience; Deborah and Beatrice, for the fruitful discussions together, Eirini and Barbara for their encouragement and support.